Showing Girls How to Love

I was just about to jump in the shower after a cycling class at the gym. I had taken all of my clothes off and caught myself in the mirror. I stood there, dissecting every curve, bump, wrinkle, and stretch mark. I scouted out all my problem areas first. Telling myself this area needs to be here and this thigh needs to be this wide, pulling and tugging at each part. Unfortunately this has become a fairly common practice for me. What caught my attention weren’t my critical judgments. It was the fact that I realized my 3 year old daughter was watching me. My heart sank.

All I ever wanted for my sweet little girl was to know how precious she is. She has the heart of an angel. She has her daddy’s eyes, the most beautiful big blue eyes. Her curly dirty blonde hair gets tangled like cotton candy when she sleeps. Her smile lights up my world. And I was showing her how to judge, how to ridicule herself, and dissect every inch. How to think no matter how hard she works or how well she eats, it will never be good enough. There will always be something to fix.

I want to teach her she can do anything. I want her to learn the strength and beauty that comes from being a woman. Being a woman is a tremendous opportunity to have it all.

As someone who has spent her whole life struggling to maintain a healthy weight, the thing I have the hardest time with is my self-image. I have studied and worked for years to figure out what works for me to have a healthy lifestyle and a healthy body that comes with it. That’s what I want to instill in my children. It is so important that young girls get a true picture of what beauty is and it isn’t defined by what they see on TV.

The internal work I have to do on myself is on-going. I continue to learn and grow more and more comfortable in my own skin- something that seems to come easier with time. But I am much more mindful, now, of how I treat myself in front of Emma. I treat myself with kindness so that she will do the same. I speak of myself with respect so she will. I am working to love myself as I want her to love herself.

Something we should all ask ourselves as mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmas….How are we showing our girls how to love?

What is a Conscious Mom?

In September of 2006 I found out I was pregnant. Everything about the pregnancy was pretty typical: morning sickness 24/7, weight gain, weird cravings, no sleep, and eager anticipation. Of course my husband, Stuart, and I were nervous, but we were ready to start our family. There was something , however, I hadn’t considered. In the middle of picking out nursery themes, names, and planning showers I never once agreed to let having a baby be the end of my life as an individual. I knew, of course, that becoming a parent would change my life forever. I just wanted it to remain MY LIFE.


There are enough expectations on women without throwing in a specific mold that we are to squeeze ourselves into after starting a family. Why are we short-changing ourselves? There is no one specific way of being a person or a parent, yet there still remains a belief that a woman has to give up a large part of her individuality in order to be a proper mother.

Enter being a conscious mom.

It’s not about ignoring our duties as a mother. It’s about enhancing our ability to be a great parent by staying true to our selves. It’s about realizing that we are so much more than we can define on paper. It’s okay to be, do, have what we want. It doesn’t make us less of a parent; it makes us a better one. By exploring our desires and needs, taking risks, doing the unexpected, keeping ourselves happy so that we can facilitate that in others, we give ourselves permission to live outside predetermined roles. We give our children an insight into how to live free by BEING free.

Discover yourself in all your components. Find your inspiration, your drive, the successes that give you hope, the trials that give you strength and incorporate that into being a mother.

I am on a journey everyday to nurture my true self, explore what spirituality means to me, discover the best way for me to be a mom, and make my own dreams come true- all while encouraging my children to do the same. This blog is the exploration of that incredible challenge.