Showing Girls How to Love

I was just about to jump in the shower after a cycling class at the gym. I had taken all of my clothes off and caught myself in the mirror. I stood there, dissecting every curve, bump, wrinkle, and stretch mark. I scouted out all my problem areas first. Telling myself this area needs to be here and this thigh needs to be this wide, pulling and tugging at each part. Unfortunately this has become a fairly common practice for me. What caught my attention weren’t my critical judgments. It was the fact that I realized my 3 year old daughter was watching me. My heart sank.

All I ever wanted for my sweet little girl was to know how precious she is. She has the heart of an angel. She has her daddy’s eyes, the most beautiful big blue eyes. Her curly dirty blonde hair gets tangled like cotton candy when she sleeps. Her smile lights up my world. And I was showing her how to judge, how to ridicule herself, and dissect every inch. How to think no matter how hard she works or how well she eats, it will never be good enough. There will always be something to fix.

I want to teach her she can do anything. I want her to learn the strength and beauty that comes from being a woman. Being a woman is a tremendous opportunity to have it all.

As someone who has spent her whole life struggling to maintain a healthy weight, the thing I have the hardest time with is my self-image. I have studied and worked for years to figure out what works for me to have a healthy lifestyle and a healthy body that comes with it. That’s what I want to instill in my children. It is so important that young girls get a true picture of what beauty is and it isn’t defined by what they see on TV.

The internal work I have to do on myself is on-going. I continue to learn and grow more and more comfortable in my own skin- something that seems to come easier with time. But I am much more mindful, now, of how I treat myself in front of Emma. I treat myself with kindness so that she will do the same. I speak of myself with respect so she will. I am working to love myself as I want her to love herself.

Something we should all ask ourselves as mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmas….How are we showing our girls how to love?